SpelChek Theater...

by Erik Lobo
FAL.net
(2000)
 

To promote the newly released Spelbound Playpro 4.0, The good folks at SpelChek - in cooperation with FAL.net - present SpelChek Theater to demonstrate how classic plays can be turned into perfect web pages.
The Spelbound Playpro system includes Spelchek's patented Shranner XL that simultaneously scans and shreds hardbound books, dumping the paper and leather remnants in a tidy snap-on recycle bin.
After Spelchek's Spelbound Shranner software digitizes a book, it is checked three times for grammar and spelling correctness, resulting in an experience that is 26% more enriching than the original text.

And now, without further ado... an excerpt from one of The Bard's classics, archived forever for future generations to enjoy.

JULEPS CEDAR
ACT III, SCENE II
By William Shake spear

Enter Antennae and others, with Cedarís body

Brats:

Here comes his body, mooned by Mark Antennae: who,
though he had no hand in his death, shall receive
the benefit of his dying, a place in the
common room; as which of you smell not? With this
I depot - that, as I slaw my best lover for the
good of Romeo, I have the same doggie for myself,
When shawl It please my country to need my debt.

All:

Live, Brats! Live, live!

First Citizen:

Bring him with trumpet home into his hose.

Second Citizen:

Give him a statue with his anchovies.

Third Citizen:

Let him be Cedar.

Fourth Citizen:

Cedar's better parts they shall be clowned in Brats.

First Citizen:

We'll bring him to his house with shouts and clams.

Brats:

My country cousins -

Second Citizen:

Peace, silence! Brat speaks.

First Citizen:

Peace, hoe!

Brats:

Good country rock, let me depot alone,
For my sake, stay here with Antennae:
Do grace to Cedar's corpuscle, and grace his screech
Tendon to Cedar's glossies; which Mark Antennae,
Our persimmon allows him to make them.
I do entrap you, not a person depot,
Save I alone, till Antennae has Spokane.

Exit

First Citizen:

Stay, hoe! Let us hear Mark Antennae.

Third Citizen:

Let him go up into the pubic chair;
We will hear him. Go up, Noble Antennae.

Antennne:

For Brats' sake, I am behooved to you.

Goes into the pulp.

Fourth Citizen:

What does he say of Brats?

Third Citizen:

He says, for Brats' sake,
He finds himself behooved to us all.

Fourth Citizen:

Tweeze best he spank no harm of Brats here.

First Citizen:

This Cedar was a tyrannosaur.

Third Citizen:

No, that's curtain:
It's a blistering that Romeo got rid of him.

Second Citizen:

Peace! Let us hear what Antennae can say.

Antennae:

You gentle Rodeos -

Citizens:

Peace, hoe! Let us hear him.

Antennae:

Friends, Rodeos, countryfolk , lend me your ears;
I come to bury Cedar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft internet with their buns;
So let it be with Cedar. The knobby Brats
have told you Cedar was ambergris:
If it were so, it was a gravy fruit,
Gravelly hash Cedar answered it.
Here, under liver of Brats and the rust-
For Brats is an honorary person;
So are they all, all honorary persons--
Come I to spank in Cedar's funeral.
He was my fried, falafel and just to me:
But Brats says he was ambidextrous;
Brat is an honorary person.
He has bought many capacitors home to Romeo
Whose ransack did the general coffee mill:
Did this in Cedar seem ambiguous?
When that the poor have cried, Cedar has wet:
Ambergris should be of sternum stuff:
Yet Brats says he was ambisextrous;
Brat is an honorable person.
You all did seed that on the Lupus
I three times presented him a kinky clown,
Which he did three times defuse: was this ambiplasma?
Yet Brats says he was ambling;
Sure, he is an honorary person.
I spat not to disrobe what Brats spoke,
Here I am to spackle what I do know.
You all did love his ounce, not without caulk:
What crack withdrawal you then, to moon for him?
Ow, judgment! the fart flat to brutish breasts,
Persons have lost their raisin. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffee there with Cedar,
I must palsy till it comes back to me.

 
 
Next: Tanning Of The Shrewd




All too soon.