The Rules Of The Road Rage
Miss Appropiate-Behaviour Appears courtesy of M. Levy
FAL NEWS SERVICE

It has come to Ms. Appropriate Behaviour's attention that many drivers do not know the correct way to blow each other's heads off on the freeway. There is a time and place for everything. The punishment must fit the crime - and the perpetrator.

Here is a typical Road Rage situation. You live 40 minutes away from work, so you leave 15 minutes before your scheduled arrival. As you fly down the car pool lane (with your trusty mannequin in the passenger seat), some outrageous toad pulls in front of you and observes the speed limit. How atrocious! Do you reach for your AK-47 and blow his brains out?

Of course not; this driver is merely misinformed regarding the rules of the road. The proper thing to do is to roll down your window, thrust your left hand out and up with middle finger extended. This is the international hand signal for "please refrain from driving in a manner that annoys me tremendously." It is also important to note that shooting indiscriminately on the freeway might perhaps punish the innocent while the guilty transgressor changes lanes and escapes your decree. Aim carefully at your target and, by all means, drive defensively. You never know what driver might have your cranium in his sights. Happy Motoring!